Patriarchy is an old age structure, it is something that has been socially enforced upon us. Patriarchy is not just men ruling over women or women being considered inferior. It’s a lot more and a lot less than its actual definition. Its upshot flushes upon your mother’s face when the house help doesn’t show up, I am sure you must have witnessed her toiling all day during this lockdown, all alone and I am sure not many were bothered to help.
It appears as creases on your father’s forehead when he calls for his morning tea sitting comfortably to the sofa. We have unconsciously in our mind imbibed a framework that we actively oppose. Patriarchy portrays itself as a set of rules, customs and values that specify how men and women should behave to survive in this world.
Carlo Gilligan in her book ‘Why does patriarchy persist?’ defined patriarchy as a culture based on a gender binary and hierarchy. “It exists internally, shaping how we think and feel and how we perceive and judge our desires and our relationships and the world we live in.
Even though we have developed conscious attitudes of equality, there is a much larger context of unconscious ideas of what women should be that hovers like a ghost.”
Patriarchy is a framework that —
1. Leads us to see human capacities as either masculine or feminine and to privilege the masculine.
2. Elevates some men over other men and all men over women.
3. It is normalized to such an extent that if someone breaks the code, it appears abnormal. In many parts, if a man doesn’t support it, he is looked upon and if a woman does that she is bestowed with bashing and is not considered a ‘good’ woman.
Patriarchy is to just to protect men from their own mistakes. Why do some women suffer domestic violence until the very end? They take it until they can’t, one of the reasons is because women subscribe to the same patriarchy that men espouse. It is what they are taught. Some women shun other women if they speak up because their minds had been oriented in such a way that it’s uncomfortable for them to unlearn the inherited lies and the wrongs.
Patriarchy dehumanizes males, as many people do think (unconsciously or consciously) that being manly is about not being weak.
Courtesy : Aditi Singh @Prowledthought