GENDER NEUTRAL PARENTING AND MILLENNIAL GENERATION

• Relevance:
• GS 1: Society and social issues: Gender equality
• SOCIOLOGY : Social Changes in India/Challenges of Social Transformation/ Emerging Issues/ Patriarchy and sexual division of labour

INTRODUCTION

Parents are typically a child’s first source of information about gender. Starting at birth, parents communicate different expectations to their children depending on their sex. For example, a son may engage in more roughhousing with his father, while a mother takes her daughter shopping. The child may learn from their parents that certain activities or toys correspond with a particular gender for example a family that gives their son a truck and their daughter a doll. Even parents who emphasize gender equality may inadvertently reinforce some stereotypes due to their own gender socialization.

WHAT EXACTLY IS GENDER NEUTRAL PARENTING?

Gender-neutral parenting is when parents raise a child without forcing any preconceived gender norms upon them, and allow them to choose which one they would rather adopt for the rest of their lives. This allows the child not to be put into a box and grow up according to conventional gender rules. For example, parents would address the child as ‘Baby’ in their conversations and not ‘Boy’ or ‘Girl’, allow them to dress in what they want, whether it means boys wearing pink, or girls wearing blue, keep neutral room decor and toys, and in general avoid any kind of gender stereotyping. Some parents might even choose to hide the gender of their child from everyone except their closest family members. At its core, gender-neutral parenting is about encouraging the traits that make a good human, not a good man or woman

Sex vs. Gender

• The terms sex and gender are often used interchangeably. However, in a discussion of gender socialization, it’s important to distinguish between the two.
• Sex is biologically and physiologically determined based on an individual’s anatomy at birth. It is typically binary, meaning that one’s sex is either male or female.
• Gender is a social construct. An individual’s gender is their social identity resulting from their culture’s conceptions of masculinity and femininity. Gender exists on a continuum.
• Individuals develop their own gender identity, influenced in part by the process of gender socialization.

GENDER NEUTRAL PARENTING CAN BE PURSUED BY FOLLOWING CERTAIN RULES WHICH ARE:

1. Reducing the Importance of Gender: Using gender-neutral terms, and  removing labels on gender from language. For example, replace ‘What a smart girl you are!’ with ‘What a smart kid you are!’

2. Avoiding the Pink and Blue Themes and stereotyping in toys: Watch out for attributing gender stereotypes and any stressing of difference between boys and girls. Not associating pink with a girl and blue with a boy. This can change their thinking and behaviour to adapt to norms early on. You can get them gender-neutral clothes, and encourage them to wear neutral colours.
3. Encouraging Girls and Boys to Play Together: It is vital for children to be comfortable playing with the opposite gender, as this will make them ready for future relationships at work, at home, and in school. You can enter your child in mixed-gender activities, sports, and playgroups.
4. Not Eliminating Gender Entirely: Goal should not be to erase gender, but to encourage child to look past gender norms, and pursue all interests, careers, and hobbies. By making sure their opportunities and choices are not restricted by gender, you can better emphasise how irrelevant gender is in society.
5. Introducing Them to Role Models: Exposing children to role models like male nurses, female engineers and mechanics, and so on.child will be encouraged if they learn about people who challenge gender stereotypes, and express themselves in a gender-fluid manner.
6. Focussing on Kid As an Independent Individual: Studies show that there is no difference between a male brain and a female brain. Although both genders have biological differences, in other aspects, they have a mix of traits that are characteristic of both sexes. Hence, it is essential to focus on your child as a single human, rather than a gender-related boy or girl.
7. Teaching About Sexism: Helping children recognise stereotypes and biases, and how the society and world we live in has gender divisions. This will equip them better for the future, and help them that realise gender division is not due to the difference in ability, but due to a culture which is stereotypical.

Gender-Neutral Parenting: Pros and Cons

• PROS:
  • Gender-neutral kids are more creative, thanks to the freedom of expression and choice.
  • Children who get to choose between ‘boy’ and ‘girl’ toys regardless of their gender have the ability to enhance their insights and interests.
  • They also have the ability to have more interests and hobbies.
  • Your child can be truly who they are, regardless of any restriction.
  • Your child will become familiar with the interests of the opposite gender.
  • Being gender-neutral can increase your child’s awareness of identity and self-esteem.
  • Children who get the freedom of such choice early in life are more likely to have high self-confidence, and be leaders later in life.
  • Gender-neutral children are more likely to be agents of gender equality, both in school and in their own cultures.
  • Gender-neutral kids grow up with the ability to never have any bias or stereotype in any situation.
  • Gender-neutral children do not feel any added pressure to make choices of which they are uncertain.
• CONS:
  • If a child is raised without the concept of gender, they will become confused about their identity when they attend school and meet other kids.
  • It will be challenging for parents to avoid all gender-specific pronouns at home like him, her, she, or he.
  • There is no way of avoiding gender in the child’s future due to surrounding society, so giving them exposure early will help them decide who they are and what they want to be.
  • Be careful not to slip and put your child into another ‘type’. They’re people, not ‘gender-neutral children’.
  • You also have to be careful not to push gender-neutral parenting onto your child. If a boy likes only blue and sports, then it’s okay. Similarly, if your girl likes pink and princesses, that’s okay, too.

SCENARIO IN INDIA:

A pronounced trend in the West, gender-neutral parenting has picked up in urban India in the past two years— who have either grown up in a gender-discriminatory environment but want to change that or who have had a liberal upbringing and want to pass it onto the future generation — are teaching gender equality to their children. Parents are now dividing domestic chores equally among themselves so that children can learn. They are narrating stories of inspiring women and nonviolent heroic men to teach children there is no concept called the weaker sex.

CONCLUSION

Going back to the old phrase, every drop makes an ocean. We need to nurture an atmosphere that exempts a child of any preconceived notion. It is high time, we do not have preconceived notions of having our boys be the breadwinners of a household while women efficiently turn to being homemakers as they stretch to take on additional roles. It is important to have a co-parenting mechanism that fuels a future of responsible human beings who can cherish an identity of their own.